Chris Pugh

Brian Patterson Miller.

On Friday, January 24, 2025, my nephew, Brian Patterson Miller, took his own life in his home in Redwood Valley.

Brian was the only child of my sister Karen and her husband, Mark Miller. In recent years, we had become estranged—something that often happens when you combine drugs, alcohol and mental health issues. My sister passed away in 2016, and the last time I remember seeing Brian was during the 2017 Redwood Valley fires when he and his father were evacuated from their home.

Not long after that, Brian and Mark cut ties with our family for reasons only they knew. We tried to reach out a few times before the pandemic, but they weren’t interested. Eventually, their phone lines went dead, and life went on.

Mark passed away a couple of years ago. I wasn’t shocked, knowing what I did about his health, but it was still a sad to learn about it secondhand, through word of mouth. And then there was Brian—left completely alone.

I thought about Brian often, probably a few times a week. When I happened to be in Redwood Valley, I’d sometimes drive past his house, hoping I might see him, but I never did. Maybe, deep down, I hoped he’d see me and I’d have a reason to stop.

I regret not stopping.

From what I’ve learned, Brian had been living alone in the house for the past couple of years—no electricity, no job, no support system. I can’t imagine how he survived that long. I’m still processing all of this, Brian and I were close when he was a kid. I’m sad that it came to this. I don’t know what if there was anything I could have done for him. But I wish he had reached out. I wish I had reached out.

Before you offer thoughts and prayers—please don’t. They’re empty gestures, and they won’t change the situation or bring Brian back. Instead, consider this: reach out to someone in your life who might be struggling. Depression, isolation, thoughts of suicide—these are heavy burdens, and your check-in could make all the difference. You could save their life.

Brian Patterson Miller: 7/7/1986 - 1/24/2025

Dial “988” for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.